52-53. 50-52. 59-61.

My measurements. These numbers were a constant reminder throughout my life that I wasn't like my friends or peers. These numbers forced me to see myself differently (and not in a good way). Though I’ve taught myself to think differently when it comes to seeing those numbers that tore me down for so long, I still get that painful twinge when I see the lack of resources for plus size sewists.

About a month and a half ago I wrote in to my favorite podcast, Love to Sew Podcast, to share why I sewed for Episode 94: Why Do We Sew? (http://lovetosewpodcast.com/episodes/episode-94-why-do-we-sew/). I started crying in my car when I heard my response being read on the show. In case you haven't (or are unable to) listen to the episode, here's why I sew:

"I’ve been a short, plus size girl for the majority of my life. My mom had signed me up for sewing lessons so I could hem pants, but my love for sewing grew into so much more. During those lessons I learned how to alter patterns, how to alter clothing, and which styles and colors I liked and didn’t like. I became more and more picky about what I wanted to wear because I knew that I could make my own clothes that fit me and my style better. Wearing something I’ve made out is such a rewarding experience to me. I love being able to show off my knowledge, talent, hard work, and style while also knowing that I’m making things I wouldn’t be able to find or buy elsewhere. There’s something about taking a 2D piece of fabric and turning it into something 3D that gives me such a rush and a feeling of accomplishment.

I sew for the 12-year-old version of me who was forced to wear boring, ‘old lady’ clothes. I sew for my plus size preteen/teen figure skating self who could never find pretty skating dresses in her size. I sew for my high school self who wore boring clothes in sizes too small or too big because she couldn’t find the right clothes off the rack. I sew for my high school self who made most of her homecoming and prom dresses because she knew what she wanted and wouldn’t settle for less. I sew for all of my theatre kids (I’m the costumer for my high school alma mater) so that they feel the comfort and confidence in their costumes that I never did. I sew for my clients and friends who come to me not feeling any confidence in their bodies because their clothes don’t fit them correctly. I sew for my clients so I can educate them how sewing is so different from off-the-rack clothing and explain to them how number sizes don’t matter. I sew for my mom who got me started and who not only encouraged me to start garment sewing, but trusted me enough to ask me to make my first custom garment ever for her.  I sew for my sister who I can make custom dresses and clothes for so she doesn’t have to feel as trapped as I did, so she can have that perfect prom dress that doesn’t come in her size. I sew for myself so that I can feel that I’m slowly making a difference - however small that is.”

Before I went to college, I had started (poorly) self-drafting the clothes I made for myself. I'd become so unbearably frustrated because I had to make so many pattern alterations just to have a chance to fit the basic shape on my body pre-"minor"-adjustments.

I spent four years of school focusing on childrenswear to try and make up for the lack of options I had as a kid. I started doing alterations because, for years, I would be paralyzed when I thought about what numbered size I'd have to wear instead of thinking of how it would make me feel if it had fit correctly.

As most of you know by now, I only recently started making for myself again. Just a year ago, after that five year gap, I still didn't see any changes in plus size sewing patterns. Until a couple of months ago, just about everything I've made for myself has been self-drafted (meaning I create the patterns to create my garments). Only THIS YEAR have pattern companies started expanding and creating more "size inclusive" size ranges and even then, I'm still at the top of that new range.

There's a huge group of sewists out there being ignored because our sizes are "too difficult" to draft for despite our willingness to help. There are so many talented women (and men) who make beautiful garments and crafts using materials from companies that never seem to be featured because of their size. We spend our money to support these companies despite our having to become pattern drafters ourselves in order to make it work. We support companies that don't support us.

It's high time for companies to start realizing that and take action to become the "inclusive" companies they claim to be.